


All My Walls and Fences

by Lula_Landry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Loss of Virginity, Neighbors, Professor Kylo Ren, Protective Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:59:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lula_Landry/pseuds/Lula_Landry
Summary: Ben Solo just wants to escape. His small town teaching assignment is meant to be a break from the heartache of real life. Instead, he finds himself distracted by his new neighbor Rey. Things becomereallycomplicated when he realises she's also a student at his new school.You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 104
Kudos: 277
Collections: Kylo Ren / Rey





	1. The More I Think

The township of Jakku was supposed to be his own personal scrapyard, a place where he could lay low and pretend the rest of his life didn’t exist. Instead, he was already on someone’s radar. 

Granted, that someone looked about half his age and half his size, but that didn’t make the attention any less annoying.

Ben Solo ran a hand through his mop of black hair. It had been the bane of his mother’s existence when he was a child as she tried to wrestle it under control, and it was those memories that led him to keep it neat and tidy. In the last three months, however, he’d deliberately left it uncut. It hadn’t taken long for the ebony mass to curl and wave, drifting into his eyes and almost touching his collar.

After living an ordered life that had gone _almost_ exactly according to plan, he sought chaos.

He’d arrived at his new place three days ago and the house was now filled with boxes. He was surprised by how much he’d brought with him considering most of his things were in storage. The sheer volume of stuff was making it hard to motivate himself to do anything other than sit around and drink. Unpacking was definitely not top of mind.

He settled back on the overstuffed couch in the centre of the living room and cracked open a cold one. If anyone back home could see him now, they’d swear he’d been hijacked by aliens.

Ben was a born student who’d fallen in love with academic life. Chemistry was his preferred science, and he’d attended Princeton on a full scholarship when he was only fifteen-years-old. By twenty, he’d completed his undergrad work, masters and PhD alongside two fellowships from Harvard and Columbia. He’d also received an offer from his alma mater to retain him in a research capacity, and Ben accepted.

It had devastated his mother, principle owner and chief executive officer at Organa Pharmaceuticals. Ben was supposed to graduate and join the company she’d built from the ground up, but it turned out he had his own plans. 

It always surprised him how much he enjoyed university life. Ben was an introvert by nature, preferring books and test tubes to people and parties. And yet he loved the times he was invited to teach, finally able to engage with others at a level that he found fulfilling. The student-teacher relationship interested him, though not enough to leave his laboratory.

His research into the properties of cement was revolutionary enough to earn him the attention of several major bodies, both government and corporate. It was these findings that brought Gwendolyn Phasma into his life. She was an environmental engineer able to apply Ben’s discoveries in real world practical ways, the biggest of which was using his formulations on underwater oil rigs. 

Gwen was an impressive woman with a mind like a steel trap in the body of an Olympic swimmer. She was long and lean, handsome rather than beautiful, almost as tall as Ben’s own six foot four inch frame and yet she’d wear high heels to ensure she remained the tallest person in the room. She was a meticulous researcher and a sympathetic mind.

Ben realised now that he’d mistaken convenience for love. Gwen was the first steady female relationship in his life outside of his mother- as hideous as that was to admit- and the statuesque blonde had no qualms inviting him into her bed. After three years of profitable research and development alongside an intimate if coldly logical relationship, he’d proposed marriage.

The kicker was she’d accepted. 

He’d noticed a flicker of hesitation behind ice blue eyes the night he’d produced his grandmother Padme’s ring, but Ben convinced himself afterwards it was all in his head. As it turned out, the proposal was a death knell to both their professional and private relationship.

Ben could now read the many signs he’d refused to acknowledge over the past year; cancelled dinner dates, weekend conferences that took them away from each other, and flimsy excuses to avoid sex. It hadn’t bothered him because he was who he was, both antisocial and asexual. 

Discovering Phasma in the arms of his carrot-topped research assistant was what brought the whole charade to an end. He grimaced as he inhaled his beer, unable to forget the image of Armie Hux’s smirking face and Gwen’s resigned expression when he’d walked in on them naked atop her desk. 

Truth was Ben was more disappointed than heartbroken. To him, love was a series of choices one made in favour of a particular human being over another. Emotion had nothing to do with it. He wished Gwen had come clean about the state of their relationship instead of turning him into a cuckold. He was, to his core, utterly honest. 

It was humiliating emailing all those people to say the wedding wasn’t going ahead. The wave of curiosity that had come his way- disguised as sympathy, naturally- was the reason why he was now here.

Ben looked around the old house with a bleak expression on his face. If nothing else, he’d well and truly succeeded in leaving his old life behind.

He’d seen the post on an online college newspaper about a program seeking educators to send to rural towns. There was a dearth of teachers and the federal government was willing to cover moving costs and accommodation for anyone intrepid enough to put up their hand. The contract was for a year, after which he could choose to return home or remain in whatever farming community to which he’d been posted. 

Ben had experienced a sudden and overwhelming need to apply. A whole year in parts unknown, away from his controlling family and gossiping colleagues, far from Gwen whose research was inextricably linked with his own and Hux, who it now seemed was her boyfriend... it sounded perfect. He could call it a sabbatical. After all, he’d still be teaching.

The outcry from all and sundry when he announced his plan surprised him. His university board was unimpressed by the suddenness of his decision, and Gwen had been outraged since his leaving put a hold on their joint research. Ben had his mother to thank for negotiating intellectual property rights on his discoveries. Leia Organa Skywalker-Solo was nothing if not a businesswoman.

Strangely enough, he had his mother’s support. Leia’s exact response to his announcement that he and Gwen had broken up was “good riddance”, and her reaction to the idea that one of the pre-eminent minds in scientific research was choosing to teach high school level chemistry in a podunk town was “have fun”.

Ben sometimes blamed his mother’s tough outer shell for his own tendency to retreat into himself—after all, he’d always had his warrior mom to deal with the vagaries of life on his behalf—but in this case Leia’s brusque assessment was strangely comforting.

So here he was in Jakku, Missouri, a township of three thousand, surrounded by corn fields and setting up camp in a house that was way too big for his needs. 

The double storey home sat in the middle of an acre block, which was startling enough for a man who’d lived his last ten years or so in a one-bedroom apartment, but even more intimidating was the obvious neglect that surrounded it. 

The grass needed mowing, as evidenced by the fact his shoes disappeared with every step into a waving green mass. The rusty mailbox currently sat at an angle that could only be charitably described as challenging. There was an outdoor pool in the back, which surprised him, but the water was green and sludgy with algae. The only real vegetation apart from waist high grass was a shady tree near the fence line, but the branches needed trimming, having stretched precariously over his neighbour’s roof. 

He supposed he should be grateful all his windows and doors were intact.

The house itself was old but solid. It had a wraparound porch, which seemed to be a fairly standard architectural design in his neighbourhood, worn but whole. Someone had been paid to splash a coat of paint on the inside, and every interior wall was now buttercup yellow. Ben wondered how long it would be before he began dreaming in sepia tinted tones.

The ground floor consisted of a large living room with an open fireplace, a spacious, blue-tiled kitchen, a formal dining room, a breakfast nook that looked out onto the stagnant pool and the laundry. 

Upstairs held four bedrooms and two baths, though only two of the rooms were sparsely furnished. He chose the master bedroom for himself since it had the attached bathroom. His bed was a gothic monstrosity, its frame a wrought iron tangle of vines upon which he might impale himself if he had too restless a night. He still liked it though, since it wasn’t often he found furniture able to handle his broad form.

Everyone on his street lived on an acre block, and all that space suggested glorious privacy to Ben’s thinking. He had hoped he’d be left to his own devices until school started in a couple weeks’ time. Instead, he was being constantly watched.

The watcher was a skinny little thing, dressed like a hayseed country bumpkin in raggedy shorts and threadbare tops. Her hair was normally twisted atop her head in two or three sloppy buns, her feet bare, her face free of makeup.

He’d seen her too many times now to believe it was a coincidence. She was watching him for _some_ reason. 

Boredom? Curiosity? Malice? Perhaps he was about to have his front porch egged.

How delightful. 

What Ben didn’t expect was for her to knock on his front door.

He pulled himself off his new but old couch which was already forming an impression of his backside to stare at the pathetic feminine form on the porch.

She was small and slight. He would have guessed her age at twelve, except there was a womanliness to her delicate, elfin face despite the smattering of golden freckles marching across the bridge of an adorable nose. Fifteen perhaps? 

Her skin was pale gold, the perfect evidence of a dying summer, her big eyes a light, bright hazel, as green as they were brown. The hair in their triple buns was a glorious, shimmering red that he was certain was natural on this girl, though he’d seen it listed as ‘carmine’ on a catalogue from his mother’s latest pharmaceutical venture. Yes, Leia had released a cosmetics line.

Dressed in a red halter top that revealed the expanse of her flat belly and a pair of denim cut-offs with a raggedy hem exposing more than what was appropriate, she was every bit as skinny as first impressions told him. Her unfettered breasts were small and tight and would have disappeared inside one of his oven mitt hands… at which point Ben stopped cataloguing her features.

He was about to become a teacher, probably at _her_ high school, and what he didn’t need out of this experience was his name added to a list of sexual predators. 

He had no idea what to say since, “Why the hell are you spying on me?” might have come out sounding a bit aggressive. 

She solved that problem for him by sticking out her hand. Her unpolished, nibbled-on fingernails clutched a handful of letters.

“These are yours,” she said, her voice a surprise. 

Her tone was as sweet as syrup, and her accent was proper, very nearly English in its intonation. How was that possible in Jakku?

“Um, thanks?”

She frowned up at him. “Your gratitude is overwhelming.”

Ben swallowed a laugh, not wanting to give this Dickensian street urchin the satisfaction. “Why should I be grateful that you walked my mail from the letter box to the front door?” he asked.

She squinted at his front yard. “Apart from the fact the grass is long enough to hide gators?”

This time he allowed himself a smirk. “Yes, apart from that.”

“Your mail was handed to me.” 

“What? Why?”

She stared at him like he was an idiot. “It’s kinda hard for Pete to deliver letters when your post box is lying on the ground.” 

“So he just gave them to you?” Ben asked, a little outraged.

She shrugged bony shoulders. “He gets lazy, and I am your neighbour.”

Ah. That answered one question. Perhaps he kept seeing her around because she _was_ around. There went his theory that he’d picked up a stalker.

Ben shook his head to clear it. Back to the topic of conversation. “My mailbox is not on the ground.”

The girl turned again to give it a cursory glance. “It might as well be.”

He frowned at the offending metal item, orange with rust and atop a post so askew it was practically sideways. 

“I could fix it for you.” 

And that was the second thing he hadn’t expected her to say.

“What?”

She was looking past his shoulder into the house, though Ben suspected he was tall enough to completely block her view.

“I have tools. I could hammer the stake back into the ground for… for a fee.” 

He blinked. “No offense, but can you even lift a hammer?”

She flushed, her gaze returning to his bemused face with a fierceness that made him think of a creature in the wild. “And what do you know about lifting a hammer, city slicker?”

Ben smothered a grin, correctly assuming she wouldn’t take kindly to the idea he was laughing at her. He held out his hands, palms up. The skin was callused, scarred by myriad chemical experiments.

“I wasn’t completely hands free at my old work,” he murmured.

She stared at his fingers as if fascinated and he grew self-conscious, pulling back to tuck them into his pockets. The red in her cheekbones intensified.

“I thought you were the new teacher,” she said, looking at him curiously. 

“I am,” he replied, disinterested in sharing anything further. “Why don’t you bring the tools over and show me how to get the letter box standing up straight?”

She bit her pink lower lip, an expression rather like regret flitting across her face. “Okay.”

As she turned to go, he called out, “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Rae,” she said, still walking. “Helena Rae.”

“I like Helena,” he replied. 

She paused at his gate. “Of course, you do,” she said grumpily. “What do I call you?”

“Do you go to Jakku Community High School?” he asked, wanting to set firm boundaries.

“Yes,” came her morose reply.

“Well then, maybe you should call me Dr Solo.”

Rae nodded. “Be back in five, doc.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I love comments, but please be kind!  
> More to come soon...


	2. The Less I See

Damn, damn, damn. Typical of her to screw the pooch. 

Rae dug through her father’s shed and located his twenty pound sledge hammer amongst a nest of spider webs so old they had lost their gossamer delicacy and turned into a tacky net. 

She’d been laid off at Plutt’s garage after the fat man brushed up against her twice and she’d finally thrown a wrench at his head. Good riddance to his sleazy ass, but it meant she needed a way to make cash in the two weeks leading up to the start of school.

She was on the educational welfare program, so once term started the school would provide books and meals for free. Maz, the old dragon lady who ran the lunch room, always made sure she had leftovers to take home for dinner. By dint of portion control, Rae was able to make those meals stretch over the weekends. But that was two whole weeks away.

Plutt owed her a day’s pay, but after the way she’d left it wasn’t likely she’d see any money. She certainly wasn’t about to return to his shop and demand it from him. 

If only the fridge hadn’t died on her. Repairing the ancient white behemoth was beyond even her expertise. She’d had to dip into her meagre savings to purchase a little bar fridge, somewhere she could keep whatever food she had.

And then her new neighbour had arrived, and Rae wondered whether she could make that work for her.

She’d watched him closely for a couple of days, taking note of the small white van that deposited a number of boxes before disappearing, and his gleaming black town car that was too new to need a service anytime soon. He didn’t look like the outdoorsy type, his clothes much nicer than hers—though that wasn’t hard—and his skin pale despite the season.

She could offer her services, she decided, mow the grass and what not. He could be a source of much needed cash. 

Her offer to fix his mailbox was an opening salvo. She’d waylaid Postman Pete that morning and suggested he hand her KLB Solo’s mail rather than bend over to shove the envelopes into a precariously leaning mailbox slot. As Rae had truthfully explained, Pete was lazy enough to accede to her suggestion.

She’d made her way to her neighbour’s place, envelopes in hand and a plan of attack in place, but that had scattered as soon as he’d opened his front door. She could tell he was tall from watching him, of course, but she hadn’t expected him to be a total sasquatch. The top of her head barely cleared the middle of his chest… and what a chest it was, a wall of muscle and sinew. 

He was dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, the grey garments clinging to broad, bulky shoulders and thighs like tree trunks. His feet were huge and the hands he’d shown her… well, she’s just about gushed in her butterfly panties upon seeing long, thick fingers and wide palms.

What was wrong with her? The man was about to become a teacher at her high school. He was old and gross.

Except… he wasn’t. Not that old, at least, and not gross at all. He had a uniquely handsome face, long and sculpted, wide cheekbones and plush lips. His eyes were dark, but not black or brown, more golden, like amber. And his hair was wild, the thick black mass almost unsettling in its lushness.

Why did guys always have better hair than girls?

She could have fixed his mailbox fine, but of course he had to be one of those jerks who thought a little girl like her couldn’t do much. Granted, next to his bulging biceps her arms looked like twigs, but still.

He’d been waiting for her on the porch, having swapped his sweats for jeans. The faded blue denim clung lovingly to the shape of his sex and Rae felt her mouth go dry as she realised he was big all over. She had to force her gaze to stay at chest level after that. 

She stood by his side, feeling useless as Dr Solo pounded the wooden stake back into the ground. The muscles in his arms bulged, his chest flexing. It took him a fraction of the time to get the job done than if she’d tried, and that only annoyed her more.

She watched him place the mailbox back atop the stake, childishly pleased that it was porous with rust. He seemed to realise the issues with his mailbox as well.

“Could you paint it for me?” he asked.

“It’s the wrong way to treat rust,” she said pompously. “I’ll need baking soda and steel wool.”

He gave her an amused look. “Clever of you to know that. I was trying to give you the easy way out.”

A thick lock of black hair had tumbled into his eyes and Rae swayed closer, her hands itching to reach up and brush it back. She twisted her fingers together instead.

“I’ll probably just buy a new one,” he continued.

She grimaced, knowing she’d lost another opportunity to earn a quick buck. “I could mow your lawn,” she suggested before her window with this man shut completely.

He hefted the sledge hammer onto one shoulder as easily as if it were a chopstick. “D’you think it needs doing?”

“You’re joking, right?” she asked, always so quick to speak, and the twinkle in his eye told her yes, he was.

Oh. Her cheeks turned tomato red.

“I’ll need a weed trimmer,” she said hurriedly. “The grass is too long for a mower.”

“Do you have one?” he asked, handing her the hammer.

Rae tried not to show weakness as she took it from him. “No, but you might.”

That was how they ended up in his back yard where she pointed out a small shed—more of a closet really—tucked up against a corner of the house. She let him sift through the tangle of shovels and buckets to see if he could find anything useful.

“Did you know the people who lived here before me?” Dr Solo asked, his dark voice somehow even more compelling coming from the depths of a shed.

She turned around to stop herself from staring at his butt in those jeans and instead gazed into slimy pool water. “Um, no, not really. They were an elderly couple. Mr Morris passed away and Mrs Morris was moved to a nursing home. The house has been empty for a few years.”

“That explains it then,” Solo said, finally emerging with a weed trimmer. “I’ve never seen a lawn this overgrown.”

Rae smiled and held out her hands, pleased her guess work had borne fruit.

His mouth curled into an answering smile that took ten years off his intense face, creating little dents in lean cheeks. “Nope, not until we work out payment.”

He probably hadn’t meant anything by it but her smile faltered, chest tightening. He looked taken aback by her reaction, those amber eyes narrowing in concern, surprising her even more. Rae wasn’t used to having her feelings taken into account in any situation. 

“Um… I can only cut about half the height of the grass today,” she said, trying to cover her own awkwardness by filling the space with words. “It’s not good for your lawn otherwise. And then next week I’ll finish the job.”

He nodded. “Shall we say a hundred bucks?”

Rae gaped at him. “Dr Solo… that’s way too much.”

He shrugged his impressive shoulders. “I haven’t had a garden in about a decade. I’m making up for lost time.”

She bit her lip, wondering if something about her had given off desperate vibes, hoping his offer wasn’t charity. Except what did that matter? She needed to eat.

It was just… she didn’t want to look pitiful in front of this man.

“Okay,” she agreed, staring down at her bare feet. Maybe if she put on shoes, he wouldn’t think of her as a vagrant.

“And what about the hammer?”

She looked back up at him and realised he was holding out the weed trimmer. She took it from him. “What about the hammer?”

“Well, I need to thank you for its use.”

Rae scowled. That was definitely charity. “You don’t have to pay me for borrowing a tool.”

“Have you had lunch?”

As if on cue, her stomach growled. He laughed, and she wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

“I have stuff at home…”

“Come on,” he said, already walking back to the house with a long limbed stride that she found both predatory and appealing. “I cooked.”

Rae was about ready to turn him down when she heard the words. He'd _cooked_? No way.

She hurried after him.

Ben left the front door open.

The neighbour girl Rae leant her hammer just inside his doorway, careful with her things. Or maybe she couldn’t afford to lose it?

It was a man’s hammer, so there must have been a father figure of some sort in her life, but he wasn’t sure how he’d feel about his post-pubescent daughter hanging out with the single man who’d just moved in next door.

Hence, the open front door.

“Do you like chilli?” he asked. He’d had the slow cooker going since he’d woken up that morning.

“I don’t know,” she said honestly, following him into the kitchen. 

She looked all the more destitute inside the house, her bedraggled clothes and dusty skin suggesting a lack of care that made his heart twinge. Except maybe this was how all Jakku kids looked like in summertime. 

Just because he’d grown up with an overprotective tiger mom who almost always dressed him in a sweater and real leather shoes, it didn’t mean every child needed looking after like that. 

She’s been shocked by his offer of a hundred dollars for mowing the lawn, and he suspected if he tried to give her any more for using the hammer she would have walked away. But clearly food was acceptable currency.

Rae was too thin, though nominally healthy. Her skin glowed and her hair sparkled and her eyes shimmered with green lights… Stop. He had to stop. She was a baby, and he a grown man who’d recently been dumped. Even if she was of age, he didn’t need the drama in his life. He was in Jakku to forget.

The chilli was his grandmother’s recipe—Padme was originally from Texas—and he often cooked it when he needed something nourishing. Beef, onion, garlic, jalapenos, peppers and a variety of Mexican spices created a thick, heavenly stew.

Ben filled a couple of bowls and pushed a chair towards her. Sitting at the kitchen counter felt less intimate than if they moved to the formal dining.

He watched Rae take her first spoonful, her eyes narrowing like a cat’s in ecstasy. She actually whimpered.

“Good?” he asked, keeping his tone casual though he was pleased. Padme had a killer instinct when it came to the kitchen.

“Mmm,” she moaned, shovelling another spoonful into her mouth. 

By the time he was halfway through his portion, she was licking her spoon clean.

“More?”

Rae looked at him wide-eyed, and he knew the answer was yes, but the young girl probably didn’t want to push her luck. Ben didn’t wait for her to speak, refilling her bowl and returning it to her.

She ate more slowly this time, a spot of colour high on her cheekbones. “It’s really good,” she said almost shyly. She’d been so shameless when she first approached him that he found the change in attitude endearing.

“Thanks,” he murmured. “Family recipe.”

“I could never…” she paused. “I mean, I can make a pretty good mac and cheese but that’s from a box.”

“Cooking’s easy,” he told her. “It’s just chemistry.”

Rey took another spoonful, chewing and swallowing before keeping up the conversation like a civilised human being. “Is that what you’ll be teaching?”

Ben nodded. “Advanced chem.”

“I’ll probably be in your class,” she said brightly. “Physics is my jam, though. I’m aiming for a scholarship in engineering.”

“What kind?” he asked and watched her be surprised by the question. Did no one in her life care enough to ask about her future?

“Electronic,” she replied. “I like tinkering with machines and cars and stuff, but most vehicles now have motherboards that are just as important as their engines.” Another spoonful of food reached her lips. “Was chemistry your major?” 

“It’s in my blood,” he murmured. “My grandfather was always interested in science and he was a professor at Columbia. My mother followed his footsteps to a point, and then used her degree to start a business.”

“And you? What did you used to do?”

Ben hesitated, but he supposed his CV would be openly available once school started and parents became curious about the new teacher. “I’m a researcher at Princeton.”

The spoonful of chilli wavered in the air and slowly returned to the bowl. “Why would you come to Jakku?” Rae asked, looking stunned.

He laughed. “It’s only a year. I wanted the break and I like teaching.”

She didn’t ask any more questions, scraping clean her second bowl and jumping to her feet. “I’ll get started on the lawn.”

Ben found himself periodically drawn to the window to check on Rae’s progress. 

She was thin but wiry, clearly used to hard work and physical labour. She tied a red bandanna around her nose and mouth before she began snipping the tall grass, working up and down the lawn in methodical strips. By the time she was halfway done, her golden skin was shiny with sweat and she was covered in green grass clippings. 

He considered helping her, coming up behind and sweeping up the cuttings, but he’d seen how uncomfortable she’d been relinquishing control of the sledge hammer, so he let her be.

Ben was a couple of articles into an academic journal when there was a knock on his door. He bounced up from the couch, surprised Rae was done so soon, but then he realised he could still hear the hum of the weed trimmer’s motor.

Before him was a slim blonde in a blue summer dress, a wide smile on her pretty face. Beside her stood a teenager who looked a little older than Rae dressed in a white tank top and pink shorts, her clothes seemed fresher than the redhead’s. She too was blonde, her hair pulled up in a perky ponytail, and her arms cradling a baking dish.

“You must be Mr Solo,” the woman said, casting a judicious eye upon him.

“Hi,” Ben ventured. 

“I’m your neighbour three doors down, Carrie Connix.”

He took her proffered hand and shook it. “Right. I’m Ben,” he said since there was no cause for concern with regards to underage dalliances here.

“Is it true you’re the new chemistry teacher at Jakku Community?”

He nodded a little dazedly. Clearly, he’d forgotten to take into account the grapevine in a small town.

“Wonderful,” Carrie squealed. “This here’s my daughter Kaydel. She’s a senior at Jakku Comm, so I’m sure she’ll be in one of your classes.”

Ben transferred his gaze to the slimmer blonde and was discomfited by an equally appraising look from narrowed blue eyes.

“Great,” he muttered, suddenly wondering what he’d gotten himself into. Surely he wouldn’t be expected to socialise with the entire township just because he taught their children. It had been strange enough dealing with Rae.

The weed trimmer grew louder and Ben looked up. The redhead had destroyed her perfectly aligned strip of mown grass by diverting closer to the porch, hazel eyes ablaze as she glared at Carrie and Kaydel.

“Is that the Rae girl?” Carrie asked in a faux whisper, though Ben could tell she knew perfectly well who it was.

Kaydel’s expression turned venomous as she glowered back at Rae. “Ugh, what a scrub,” she muttered, her first words not endearing her to Ben.

“Kay, please!” Carrie said pretending shock, though her words were followed by a silvery peal of laughter. “We shouldn’t be unkind to the less fortunate.”

Ben just about had enough. Insulting the mother of one of his students probably wasn’t the done thing, but he considered asking Carrie to leave.

The woman leaned forward, placing a fluttering hand on his forearm as she spoke. “It’s such a sad story, you know. First her father has an affair with a twenty-year-old dog walker and runs away with the girl, and then her mother slides into depression and turns into a hermit.”

“Hermit?” Ben heard himself ask, despising himself for it. 

Rae’s life was her own. He was no better than this woman if he went looking for gossip about the past.

“No one has seen Kira in almost a year. Helena practically raises herself.”

Ben glanced at Rae and saw she was still staring, her brow furrowed above the protective bandanna. He needed to get rid of Carrie and Kaydel.

“Thank you so much for stopping by,” he said abruptly. “I really do need to go.”

Carrie withdrew her hand, looking surprised. “Oh, of course. Give Mr Solo the peach cobbler, Kaydel.”

“Doctor,” he muttered before he could stop himself.

Carrie’s eyes lit up. “Oh, really?”

Ben was certain she was divorced or at least widowed. Just his luck. He hoped he wouldn't be seeing much more of the Connixs. He was distracted enough by Rae.


	3. The Less I Do

Rae slipped into her house clutching a fifty dollar bill. Half now and half later, Dr Solo had said. 

She was grateful for the money, and also for the food. He’d packed her a container full of his amazing chilli, and then sliced the Connix’s peach cobbler down the middle and ladled it onto a plate for her to take home.

Kaydel Connix… yech, what a cow. Kay was a cheerleader, and she and her friends made high school hell for Rae. She could only imagine what Mrs Connix had told Dr Solo about her.

And suddenly she was blinking back tears while still standing in the entryway of her home. 

Rae didn’t mind being poor most days. She got by, and there was even a sense of achievement when she managed to make ends meet. But Dr Solo was different to anyone else she’d ever known. For the first time in her life she found herself wanting to impress someone.

She wandered into her pristine kitchen—clean because the most she ever did in there was make Ramen noodles or her favourite box of mac and cheese—and put the food away so it wouldn’t spoil. Between the money, the chilli and the pie, she was set for the fortnight.

Thank God for Dr Solo. Who knew her new chemistry teacher would turn out to be such a boss? Despite Mrs Connix fawning all over him, she got the impression he hadn’t liked her.

Good. Blondie better stay away; Dr Solo was hers.

Rae frowned as she cling-wrapped the last of the pie and washed the plate to return to the doc the next day. Where had that come from? 

Rae enjoyed her independence. She had a couple of good friends from school, but she didn’t need to be around them all day every day. She’d certainly never claimed ownership of another human being before. Past experiences taught her it was a mistake to depend on anyone.

As she stumped upstairs to take a shower and get into her pyjamas, she told herself to be careful. No good would come of her crushing on the hot new teacher. Dr Solo had made it clear he was there for a limited time only. She should thank her lucky stars she had him for as long as she did.

As she turned on the shower to stinging and soaped down, Rae wondered what other odd jobs she could do to keep hanging around Dr Solo. 

“Alphabetical by author?”

Ben walked into his living room to find Rae sorting through a stack of books. She was bent over at the waist, her head inside a packing box and her pert bottom in the air, her derriere barely covered by a pair of khaki shorts. 

He paused to admire the picture she made before his principles got in the way.

It was official- he was a pervert.

She’d arrived at his doorstep that morning to return his plate. First he’d noticed her red hair was different, tied back in adorable crooked pigtails instead of messy buns. Next he had to stifle a groan when he saw how well her faded My Little Pony t-shirt revealed hard little nipples despite summer heat. 

He briefly wondered if buying a future student a bra would be deemed inappropriate. Not that she needed one; her breasts were supple and perky, quivering with her every breath. They was just… So. Damn. Distracting.

Ben was surprised by how Rae was affecting his libido—after all, he normally didn’t have one. Gwen’s complaints about their relationship included the fact that she initiated every sexual act. He could clinically confirm his fiancée was beautiful, but he’d never drooled over a female before. But Rae… skinny, sunburnt Rae was forcing him to rediscover his testosterone levels. 

Somehow, the teenager had talked her way into helping him unpack. 

They’d started with a boxload of records he’d brought with him. After they were put away, he’d fed her his mother’s meatloaf which she’d eaten like a happy little squirrel, seemingly unaware she made chirruping noises of pleasure with every mouthful. It was dangerously appealing. Finally, they decided to tackle his books.

Rae hadn’t stopped talking the whole time, bombarding him with questions about college in general and Princeton in particular. Ben didn’t think he’d spoken about himself quite so much since he’d sent in his application essay as a fourteen-year-old genius. 

She was bright and knowledgeable and more of an adult than many of his undergrad research assistants. Of course, if Carrie Connix was to be believed, circumstances had forced Rae to grow up long before she was supposed to.

He was sorting books into little piles on the floor by genre, and she would then re-sort these by author. They’d managed to fill a couple of shelves and Ben realised he was looking forward to being completely unpacked.

“Is this one books as well?” Rae asked, slicing open the last sealed box. She handled the knife with a confidence that made his blood run cold.

He looked up to see a handful of things tumble out of the overpacked box, mostly winter woollens, and also a black velvet jewellery box. The late afternoon sleepiness that had fogged his mind disappeared without a trace.

“Rae, don’t…”

But she already had, opening it up with avid curiousity. Rae gasped, but unlike her appreciation of his cooking, Ben was unmoved. He knew what she had in her hands.

The ring was an old Skywalker heirloom from the 1900s, passed down from one generation to the next, a deep red oval ruby weighing a little over a carat surrounded by a glistening oval backdrop of mine-cut diamonds, crafted with eighteen carat gold. It was the ring he’d used when proposing to Gwen, the ring he couldn’t bring himself to put away, and yet wasn’t ready to see again.

“This is amazing, doc,” Rae said, waving it at him as if he didn’t already know.

“Put it back,” he said as evenly as he could manage.

“Is this something else from your grandma?”

“Rae, put it back.”

“Can I try it on? I’ve never seen anything so sparkly…”

“ _Rae!_ ” Ben rarely raised his voice, but this time he used his baritone to its full measure. 

She jumped, almost dropping the ring, hazel eyes going wide.

“I said, put it back.”

She finally seemed to register he was grinding his teeth. Rae hastily snapped shut the black velvet case and thrust it into the pile of clothes. 

She went back to sorting books and for a while so did he, but Ben could feel the tension in the air, as taut as a stretched out rubber band. This was why he didn’t do friendships.

He stood up and asked if she wanted a glass of water. She shook her head, back bent so her face was hidden. He smothered a sigh, wondering if he owed her an apology. Probably.

He escaped into his kitchen and drained a glass of water before returning to the living room. He grabbed the box of clothes, deciding to move it and the offensive item it contained to his bedroom. Once upstairs, Ben fished around and found the ring box.

He was just about to hide it in his sock drawer when he hesitated. As a kid, he used to love the stories connected to the ring, the multiple marriages it had sealed, the romance surrounding his ancestors. He hated that his dubious relationship with Gwen had tainted that for him.

He took a deep breath and opened the box… but it was empty. 

Ben frowned, turning the case around as if five carats of rocks would somehow magically reappear. Nothing.

He grabbed the big packing box and emptied it out over his bed, searching through a sea of wool and cashmere. More nothing.

Ben took the stairs three at a time, arriving in the living room with such a bang that he startled Rae again.

“Where’s the ring?” he demanded.

“What?”

“Where-is-the-ring?” he slowly enunciated.

Rae flushed. “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A headache started behind Ben’s left eye. He looked at this girl with her clear need for money, a pretty little stranger he’d let into his new home, and wondered if there was a bigger sucker anywhere in the world than himself.

“Rae, I can understand the temptation…”

“I didn’t take it!” she cried, jumping to her feet.

“I won’t be mad if you just own up now.”

“What do you mean?” she gasped. “You told me to put it back and I did! You watched me put it back!” Her voice was turning shrill, red cheeks draining of colour. 

It took a lot to make him angry, but right now he was furious, barely holding on to the threads of his self-control. “You were the last one to see the ring, Rae. I opened the case upstairs and it was empty.”

“Maybe it fell into the pile of clothes…”

“I looked,” he snapped. “It’s not there.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Turn out your pockets.”

She stared as if seeing him for the first time. For a second, he thought she’d refuse. Biting her lip, she shook out her pockets, revealing nothing more than lint. He wondered where else on her person she might have hidden it.

Rae was blinking frantically, and he realised her eyes had filled with tears she didn’t want him to see. “Please, Dr Solo, I didn’t take it. I promise. I’ll help you look. It must have rolled away…” She got back on her knees and began shoving books around, trying to uncover the ring.

Ben was certain it was all an act. Betrayed by another woman.

“Get out,” he told her, his voice like ice.

She froze where she was on the floor, lips quivering. “But—but you have to believe me…”

“I think you need to leave, Helena.”

Rae flinched. It felt like it took forever for her to stand up and make her way outside. Ben slammed the door shut behind her.

Rae was still crying hours later, her body shaking with the intensity of her tears.

He wouldn’t believe her. Why hadn’t he believed her?

She hadn’t taken the ring. _She_ knew she hadn’t.

He’d been so kind to her, feeding her and paying too much for mowing an overgrown lawn, appearing in her life at just the right time like a knight in shining armour or a superhero of some sort… but then it had all gone to hell. 

Such was her existence. Nothing good ever lasted.

There was food in the fridge but for the first time in forever she wasn’t hungry. She just wanted to make it right.

Until the moment she’d opened the jewellery box, she wouldn’t have believed Dr Solo had a temper. He’d been so mad, though, with a controlled kind of fury that was scarier than all of Plutt’s blustering or her father’s alcoholic rages. 

The velvet box contained an engagement ring. It was gorgeous, antique-y looking but fiery with its white and red gems. And she now knew why he was in Jakku.

Dr Solo had a broken heart.

What kind of woman would turn him down? He was certainly too good for Rae.

The redhead shook her head, exhausted from her crying fit. She always let others walk all over her. Solo had accused her of a crime she hadn’t committed and then ordered her out of his house. How could she still want his approval? 

She was done with him and his ridiculously broad shoulders and stupid cushiony lips and dumb ebony hair. She was over his voice like the inside of a dark cave and his ability to discuss anything as if he’d actually read about it in a book rather than glimpsed its Wikipedia page. Yup—she was finished with the man.

There was a knock on her front door and Rae stiffened against her father’s old leather recliner. She glanced at the luminescent dials of a Daisy Duck clock her parents had bought her during happier times and saw it was almost midnight.

At least she knew it wasn’t some official come to take her away. Their hours were nine to five.

She peered through the peephole and saw Dr Solo standing on her warped porch. Rae’s heart twisted like a leaf in the wind, but she drew back. Why was he here?

He knocked again, making her jump. “Rae?” he called, low and intimate, as if he knew she was just there.

She felt her face go all hot like it always did around him.

No. 

No, no, no. 

She couldn’t open the door to him, not after the way he’d treated her. She wouldn’t.

“Rae, we need to talk.”

Her heart was hammering so hard inside her chest she was afraid he could hear it. 

What did he think he was doing showing up at her doorstep in the middle of the night? If the neighbour’s saw… well, they already thought the worst of her. She just didn’t want Dr Solo wrongfully accused of… what, sleeping with her? No one would believe that. Except it was exactly the kind of awful gossip that would make Mrs Connix glow.

What if he was here to give her a second chance to explain before he went to the police? 

Rae wrapped her arms around her stomach. Maybe she should see what he wanted.

He knocked again. “Rae, come on. You don’t have to let me in, I just want to…”

She wrenched the door open, needing him to be quiet. 

He stared at her and she knew she must look a mess, her eyes swollen and her hair coming undone from the braids she’d decided to try just for him. 

She was such a fool.

“Rae…” he sighed, and his voice speaking her name was enough to make the tears start leaking from the corners of her eyes again.

“What?” she snapped, folding her arms across her chest.

He reached out one of his ginormous hands and wiped the moisture from her cheek. His fingers were cool next to her hot, flushed skin. Rae resisted the urge to nestle her face into his touch, painfully aware she should never be vulnerable with this man again.

“I found the ring,” he said abruptly.

What? _What?_

Amber eyes met hers in contrition. “I’m here to apologise, sweetheart. I never should have accused you of taking it.”

Oh, he’d called her sweetheart.

She told herself firmly that wasn’t enough to rectify the situation.

“I said I didn’t take it and you wouldn’t believe me.”

He ran a hand through his mess of black hair and she watched the locks slowly drift back across his forehead.

“I know. I was a complete and utter ass…”

“Jerk,” she muttered, seeing the corners of his mouth quirk momentarily.

“Only… that ring has a lot of history attached to it and I was crazed seeing it again, and then when I couldn’t find it…” He paused. “Anyway, that’s not an excuse, just an explanation. I’m very sorry.” 

Rae told herself not to engage. She barely knew the man and already he had the power to hurt her more than most other people in her life. It was ridiculous. She didn’t need the aggravation.

“Where was it?”

Because _that_ was the right thing to do, prolong this conversation. 

“The ring caught on a sweater. I had to turn each item of clothing inside out to find it.”

Well, that was good to know. At least he’d looked again.

Dr Solo reached into in his pocket and held something out to her. Rae stared at the twenty dollar bill.

“It’s yours if you promise to come back tomorrow and help me finish unpack.”

She glared at him. “Why should I?”

His hand dropped, his expression tired. “Come on, baby, let’s get past this.”

And Rae was glad she’d been holding onto the door because the pleading tone in his voice just about ruined her. 

“Okay,” she whispered. Like a chump.

She took the money from his outstretched hand, unable to meet his eyes.

He’d called her baby. She felt both weak and oddly strong, like she had some kind of power over this man. It wasn’t true, of course.

And then Dr Solo took a step forward, closing the gap between them and bringing his face close to hers, so close they’d be kissing if she exhaled a little too much.

“Are we good?” he asked, his velvet voice all husky and tender.

That was the exact moment Rae knew she was in real trouble. She would do anything for him if he’d only look at her the way he was doing right now.

“W-we’re good.”

He gave her a small smile and brushed his lips against her cheek before backing away. “Sweet dreams, baby girl.”

Rae squirmed where she stood, watching broad shoulders and lean hips walk back home. Staring until the front door shut behind him. 

Yup, she was doomed.


	4. Queen of My World

Ben wasn’t a complete idiot. He suspected Rae had a crush on him and he'd used that attraction to make sure she forgave him for his idiotic temper tantrum over the ring.

He felt awful when he realised he’d wrongly accused her of theft, taking out his frustration over his failed relationship on a teenage girl.

He was careful with her for the next several days as they finished unpacking, setting up bookshelves, trimming the tree in his backyard and even sanding down his front porch. She was eager to help, buzzing around him like a lit firefly, her cheeks rosy and her lips breathlessly parted. 

Her wardrobe didn’t improve his stress levels during the week as she dressed in a variety of raggedy booty shorts and tight little tops. He was beginning to wonder if she was being deliberately provocative. She’d caught him staring at her little tits more than once, and instead of becoming angry, she’d not-so-casually looked away, a smile on pouty lips.

He assuaged his guilt by feeding her. She may have put on a couple of pounds thanks to his cooking.

A week went by and Rae made good on her promise to finish mowing the lawn. It was after that Ben decided the swimming pool needed looking after.

He found a telescopic pole, net and brush in the small storage shed out back but had to buy a kit to test the water’s pH levels. Rae joined him without being asked minutes after he’d started the process, dressed in denim cut-offs and a lime green bikini top, her hair in her trademark three messy buns.

Ben handed her the long-handled brush to clear algae off the sides of the swimming pool while he pulled debris from the water. It was hot work and sweat dripped off his body, soaking his sleeveless tee and gym shorts.

Every time he looked at Rae she was watching him and would hastily return to scrubbing, making him smile. She was an odd girl, but he had to admit her open devotion was soothing to his ego.

Right, he must be a real catch if a teenager wanted him.

He blamed himself for what happened next. The sun rose higher and the heat became more sultry, but he was determined to get a decent amount of work done. He should have asked Rae to take a break, though she probably wouldn’t have listened to him anyway.

He suspected she’d become overtired and lost focus for a second. He looked up just in time to see her trip on a mound of leaf matter and go crashing into the soupy pool water.

“Bleeeargh,” she squealed, her head popping out of the water, hands frantically scrambling for the sides of the pool.

Ben couldn’t help himself, bursting into laughter as he grasped her wet arms and lifted her out. Rae looked like a bedraggled kitten, her face twisted in disgust. 

“Are you alright?” he asked cheerfully, even more amused by her scowl.

“Yes,” she snapped, pulling her arms out of his grasp and taking a step back. Which was when she nearly fell over again.

“Woah,” he said, grabbing her by the waist. 

Rae’s look of irritation had been replaced by the shock of pain. 

“What is it?” Ben demanded.

“My… my ankle,” she gasped, trying to keep the weight off her right leg.

He gave her a few minutes and then asked her to try again, his hands wrapped tight around her waist. She winced as soon as her foot touched the tiled edge of the pool. 

“We need to get you inside,” he said, lifting her into his arms like a bridegroom preparing to carry his bride over the threshold.

Rae’s already red cheeks turned puce. “I—no—I mean… I need a shower and a change of clothes…”

“I’m not letting you stumble through your house with a bad ankle,” he snapped, carrying her around to the front since he’d yet to find a key to his back door. “You’ll probably break your neck falling down the stairs.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she replied, now sounding equally annoyed. “I don’t need your help, you know. I’ve looked after myself for a long time.”

“Is that right?” he asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “And what a bang up job you’re doing too. You nearly cut your arm off the other day when we were working on the tree…”

“It was perfectly safe using that machete!”

“And then you tried to kill yourself by falling off a tree limb…”

“Only because you wouldn’t let me use the ladder…”

“I didn’t want you up there!”

“That makes no sense, I’m lighter than you. It was safer for me anyway…”

“You are bloody _impossible_ …”

“Kyle Lando Ben Solo. Exactly what are you doing?”

The husky female voice silenced them both and Ben turned around on his porch, his arms still full of wet, sticky girl. He quickly judged the situation for what it looked like and knew he was never going to win.

He took a deep breath.

“Hi, mom,” he said, pasting a false smile on his face. “What are you doing here?” 

Leia took charge, of course. Far be it for her to sit back and let him run his own house. 

In the space of ten minutes, Rae’s ankle was strapped up tight enough for her to hobble on it and Leia led her to Ben's bathroom to wash away pool gunk. He was grateful to his mother for the industrial sized medical kit she always kept with her, but still stunned that she’d shown up at all.

“Should I get Rae fresh clothes?” he fretted.

“Already taken care of, dear,” Leia murmured. “Now, come sit and explain why you had a half naked woman in your arms.”

Leia was making herself a pot of tea and he poured himself a glass of tart lemonade. Really, he’d made it for Rae. She had a thing for sour stuff, drinks included.

“She’s not a woman,” Ben muttered, wishing he didn’t feel like a chastened puppy. “Rae attends the high school where I’ll be teaching starting next week.” Leia’s eyebrows rose and he hastened to add, “It’s not what you think. She lives next door and has been helping me clear the yard.”

“Is that what you two are calling it?” his mother murmured.

“Mom!”

“Calm down,” Leia laughed. “I don’t see the problem as long as the girl’s of age…”

“She can’t be more than fifteen,” he said.

“Don’t you know?” his mother asked, astonished. And then, as if deeply disappointed in him, she added, “Oh, Ben.”

At which point Rae appeared, looking better for the shower, her red hair damp and falling in loose waves to her elbows, her skinny body swallowed up by his clothes, an old Def Leppard t-shirt and New York Knicks basketball shorts. 

Trust his mother to help herself- and by extension Rae- to his wardrobe.

“Much better,” Leia said, sipping her tea. “Now Rae, how old are you exactly?”

Ben could have cheerfully strangled the woman.

Rae looked from Ben to Leia and back again, torn by the look of thunderous annoyance on Ben’s face and the need to reply to his mother’s simple question. “I’m eighteen, ma’am,” she said at last.

Ben blinked. “You are?”

Rae nodded slowly. “I told you I was looking at academic scholarships for college…”

“I thought you meant in three years’ time,” he exclaimed. 

“You thought I was fifteen?” She sounded insulted.

“Well, you’re not very…” and he faltered, waving his hand at her as if that explained everything. 

“What? What am I not?” Rae demanded.

An amused noise came from Leia and Ben turned to glower at his mother. 

Rae shook her head as if clearing it. “It was very nice meeting you Mrs Solo…”

“Call me Leia, please.”

“… but I should go. Let the two of you catch up.”

“Nonsense, my dear,” Leia said, setting down her mug. “You’ll stay for dinner and rest that leg on Ben’s couch. I’m cooking.” 

And that was that.

Ben tried to help in the kitchen after settling Rae, but Leia chased him out, telling him to go entertain his 'little friend'.

When he reappeared, Rae curled her legs to let him have one end of the couch. Ben dropped into the seat like a bag of bricks, pinching his nose between thumb and forefinger.

“Parents,” he growled. “It’s like you’re always six-years-old in their eyes.”

She let out a giggle. “I wouldn’t know.”

He glanced at her and sighed, reaching for her right ankle and stretching it out so that her foot was propped on his thigh. She burrowed her face into a cushion, her cheeks pink.

Ben realised his mother had given them time to have a proper conversation, to ask the questions he’d wanted to for a while. “Where are your parents, Rae?”

She took her time replying, flexing the leg that sat on his lap. “Dad left mum and I three years ago. It was a mercy, really—all they did was fight—but mum didn’t feel that way. She slipped into a deep depression and… well, I look after myself now.”

He said nothing, his one hand massaging her undamaged foot. “Is there no one else who can take care of you?”

“Mum’s English and doesn’t have any family, and dad was an only child of elderly parents. I’m alone,” she said simply. “Besides, I’m almost ready to graduate. One more year and I can leave Jakku behind for good.”

Ben didn’t say anything, the thought of Rae out there in the wide world somehow upsetting.

“Doc, where’s your dad?” she asked tentatively

Ben blinked. It had been a long time since anyone asked the question. “My father died when I was sixteen. He was a pilot, and his plane was brought down in a storm.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry.”

He patted her knee absentmindedly. “It could have been worse. At least he didn't have any passengers with him.”

But Rae wasn’t done with her questions. “Did you really think I was fifteen?” 

He refused to look at her. “I’d hoped, baby girl.”

She frowned but he didn’t explain himself.

How to tell this pretty little thing that he preferred her being completely off limits? Discovering she was of legal age didn’t actually help his peace of mind.

Ben read while Rae dozed until Leia called them both to the dining room. His mother had cooked a delicious roast chicken with all the fixings. 

Dinner was surprisingly fun. Rae, as it turned out, was exactly the kind of girl who could enjoy his mother without being intimidated. Maybe it was because her own mother wasn’t what she needed her to be that she appreciated Leia’s bossy hen routine. Gwen had often locked horns with Leia, viewing her forceful charm as controlling rather than maternal. 

Afterwards, Leia made him and Rae do the dishes together, and then he watched Rae limp home in the moonlight. Once she was safe inside, Ben turned around to find his mother putting on her coat. 

“Where d’you think you’re going?” he demanded.

“Early morning flight,” Leia said briskly. “I’ve booked a motel room near the airport.”

“You weren’t here for very long,” he said, taken aback.

Leia laughed. “I wanted to make sure you were settling in alright, and it seems like you are.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Mom, she’s a student. It would be completely inappropriate…”

“Yes, yes, dear,” she interrupted, patting him on the cheek. “Do me a favour. Your little Rae of sunshine is already head over heels in love with you, so if you’re going to be silly enough to turn her away, please make sure you don’t break her heart.”

Ben was still standing in the doorway of his home with his mouth hanging open when Leia drove away in her zippy blue rental car.


	5. Let It Rain On My Skin

Rae had never been so happy in her whole entire life, not so that she could recall, anyway.

Leia Solo had been amazing, so strong and comforting, looking after Rae’s ankle and cooking enough food for an army. No wonder Ben was so successful—he’d had a powerhouse of a mother behind him his entire life.

She was glad Leia liked her. Not everyone in Jakku did. The rural township was not made for people who were… well, different. 

And then when morning came, Dr Solo asked her over to his place so he could keep taking care of her. 

The ankle was mostly alright now but she pretended otherwise, enjoying the sizzle of heat that travelled up her spine as he effortlessly picked her up by the waist and propped her on a stool, kneeling before her to unwrap the pressure bandage and flex her bare foot. 

She’d soaked through her panties in seconds, almost trembling with desire for the big man, glad she’d decided to wear a dress for once. The pink and white cotton shift had short sleeves and a flouncy skirt. She didn’t think her mum would mind if she borrowed it. 

The only bad thing about the ankle was she couldn’t help the doc as he cleared his pool, instead sitting on a plastic deck chair in the sun with a book. She’d have to pretend she’d read more _Waiting for Godot_ than she actually had since most of her time was spent drooling over the doc’s sculpted muscles, all slick with sweat.

Could he be any more beautiful?

Dinner was something called Hokkien noodles, a stir fry of different dark sauces he’d brought with him from New Jersey. She’d had two entire bowlfuls, a little embarrassed when she caught him smiling at her portions, but he seemed to like feeding her. Who was she to deny the man?

She’d expected to go home afterwards, but to her intense delight Dr Solo suggested a movie. He had a decent movie collection, and left her to pick a title while he went upstairs to shower and change.

Rae happily hummed to herself as she worked through the discs, finally settling on Napoleon Dynamite or Die Hard. She would let Ben have final say, but he was taking longer than she’d expected.

She grabbed the two movies and went upstairs, pleasantly reminded of her shower the day before. She’d zoned out on Dr Solo’s woodsy scented shower gels and shampoos after Leia had ordered her to clean up. Rae had even touched his towel like a full on stalker, wondering if she could get away with rolling on his big bed bare-ass naked.

Rae had yet to return his t-shirt and baggy shorts, secretly hoping he’d forget she had them at all.

She stood at the top of the stairs and hollered, “I’ve narrowed down our choices!”

He didn’t reply and she frowned. Couldn’t he hear her?

She stepped onto the landing and stood in front of his bedroom door, yelling, “Would you like action or comedy?”

The door was flung open and Ben stepped out, running straight into her. His bare chest, the very one she’d been ogling all afternoon, smacked her in the face, and Rae went wobbling backwards over the banister.

“Rae!” he shouted, reaching out and grabbing her by the front of her dress, his big hand gripping slight breasts, long fingers digging into soft flesh.

He pulled her back against himself and she wrapped her arms around his waist, both scared and aroused. 

Oh wow, wow, wow… Dr Solo had touched her boobs. Rae fought the urge to giggle like a little girl at a slumber party. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, cupping her chin and tilting it upwards.

She gave him a dazzling smile and watched the older man become flustered. Clearing his throat, Solo placed his hands on her shoulders and peeled them apart. He went back into his room and grabbed a t-shirt, pulling it on over his head, leaving his damp hair mussed. 

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, his gaze dancing awkwardly from her chest to the floor.

“It’s my fault,” she replied, almost cooing like a dove. Her breasts throbbed, but she’d been ecstatic to have his hands on her body.

He led her back downstairs and into the living room, those hands of his stuck deep in the pockets of his sweat pants.

“Rae…”

“Yes?” she twittered, her voice high and pleased, because she was a desperate little head case.

She waited for him to sit down on the couch, calculating how close she should sit next to him, when his sombre tone finally got through to her.

“Rae, you know we’re just friends, right?”

She blinked at him, her smile still in place but its brightness dimming in confusion.

“Yes, of course.”

“I mean, we’re only ever going to be friends. This isn’t… I’m not… I’m too old for you.”

Her smile wavered and vanished. “How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-eight… Damnit, that’s not the point. I’m your teacher. You’re still in high school.”

“You’re not that old,” she heard herself say, contrary to everything else coming out of his mouth.

“We probably shouldn’t be hanging out once school starts anyway. It’s highly irregular.”

Rae felt the inside of her mouth turn to cotton wool. “But… but you used to hang out with your professors all the time…”

“In college,” he sighed. “I know you’re eighteen, but it’s not the same thing. Maybe if there was a group of us… but I don’t really do big social events.”

“Neither do I!” she exclaimed. “That’s why this is perfect. You… you’re perfect.”

And just like that, she ruined everything.

She watched the shutters go up behind Ben’s amber eyes, protecting himself and blocking her out. Oh, it hurt so much.

His tone changed, an adult speaking to a child. “Rae, you can’t be around me if you don’t know how to stay in your lane.”

_Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…_

“I’ll be good,” she whispered, but that wasn’t the right response either. 

Ben flinched at her words, his jaw hardening. “Why were you even upstairs?”

She held out the two movies. “I wanted you to pick one so I could load the disc.”

He took a deep breath and plucked Die Hard from her left hand. “Let’s just watch the movie.”

But the atmosphere in the room had changed. Ben wedged his broad frame into the corner of the couch, as far away from her seated form as he could get, and her heart broke a little.

He didn’t want her, he never had. All his cooking and conversation, all the time they’d spent together was just him looking after a poor student. She was a stray puppy in this scenario, desperate for love and attention, thinking she’d found it because the kind man offered her scraps.

John McClane arrived at Nakatomi Tower when Rae said, “Did you want me to leave? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Dr Solo.”

He hesitated, and she knew that was her answer. 

She silently begged him to fight for her, to ask her to stay. To prove that everyone she loved wouldn’t abandon her.

“That might be the right choice, Rae,” he said quietly.

She nodded and got up to leave. She wanted to run out of his house. 

One day, she told herself, she’d care for someone and they would care for her back. There would be no issues or complications. She would be enough. 

The older Rae became, the more that sounded like a fairy tale, but she had to keep believing, otherwise she’d have nothing to live for.

Ben walked into Jakku Community High feeling self-conscious. 

He’d had an awful two nights. He couldn’t stop thinking of Rae’s freckled little face as she fled his presence. The way he felt was probably what the hunter who killed Bambi’s mother experienced.

He had looked out for her but she’d stayed away, abiding by his wishes. He’d been both relieved and disappointed.

He told himself he’d done the right thing. His friendship with Rae was inappropriate. What would the school board say if they found out he was hosting movie nights for a teenage girl soon to be in one of his classrooms? At least this way he could be a decent teacher.

Ben ignored the voice in his head calling him a coward. His brief time with Rae had engaged him more emotionally and physically than the last few years with Gwen. What was that about? 

But Ben Solo didn’t do relationships, not really. Gwen had made it too damn easy for him to be involved with a woman and yet… not. He wondered why she’d allowed him to be so disconnected in the first place. Had she assumed the affair would remain casual? That they’d be done with each other in the space of a semester? Too bad their synergy in the lab was so good it had prolonged what was probably meant to be a fling.

Maybe, just maybe, he could continue working with Gwen. It was as if her betrayal had lost the worst of its sting in the two short weeks he’d been in Jakku. Ben knew that had more to do with Rae than his presence in the dusty agricultural town.

His first day at school was interesting enough. He met his colleagues at an early morning staff meeting and was then introduced to the kids as each teaching period rolled by. He’d been assigned advanced chemistry for grades ten through to twelve.

Everyone seemed to know who he was. The way information spread in this town, he was surprised he and Rae had escaped attention for as long as they had.

After lunch, he finally faced the moment he’d been dreading. A group of twenty-three students strolled into class, and in the rear was Helena Rae.

His heart ached to see her, the mutinous expression on her sensitive face, her pleated blue and red tartan school skirt a little too short and frayed at the hem, her white button down shirt a less pristine white than her classmates, her black shoes scuffed, the lace on one white sock torn. She’d pulled her hair back into multiple buns, and, unlike many of the other girls, her face was makeup free. 

She refused to meet his eyes as she found a seat at the back of the classroom. Rae was joined by a girl with short dark hair and almond eyes, and then a young man with coffee coloured skin positioned himself in front of them.

Ben took roll call and worked out that their names were Rose Tico and Finn Jones. A couple, based on the constant flirting that was going on between Rose and Finn.

He began teaching, wanting to run through theoretical basics before committing his senior class to a barrage of experiments. The experiments were the exciting stuff, but what did it matter if they didn’t know why the reactions that were happening had happened?

It didn’t take him long to realise Kaydel Connix had seated herself directly in front of his desk on purpose. The blonde was surrounded by four friends and, unlike the majority of the class in their standard uniforms, the girls wore blue and white cheerleading outfits.

Ben indulged in a brief fantasy of what Rae would look like in the tiny skirt, and then rebuked himself. He had an entire year with these kids—daydreaming about Rae on the first day did not bode well.

The girl in question remained as silent as a ghost.

There were five minutes to go before the bell when Kaydel asked, “Dr Solo, is it true you used to work at an Ivy League school?”

The class was getting restless but this brought back their attention, multiple curious faces turning to look at him.

“Yes, Miss Connix,” he said, unsure how much he wanted to share about his personal life. 

“Which one?” Kaydel asked, crystal blue eyes wide.

The brunette with sharp features to her right, Bazine Natal, giggled as if her friend had said something clever.

“Princeton.”

“That’s so awesome,” Kaydel cooed. “You must be, like, so smart.”

“Are you amazed by the idea of further education since it'll be a miracle if you graduate high school, Kaydel?”

A murmur rippled around the classroom as every head turned towards Rae’s furious face. It was the first time she’d spoken all afternoon. 

Kaydel scowled. “Shut it, slag! At least I can afford to be here. You’re just a charity case.”

Rae’s cheeks darkened. “You must be so proud leeching of your parents.”

“You know what, I am,” the blonde smirked. “It's indecent not having family. When was the last time you saw your father, Rae?”

Ben pulled himself out of his shocked stupor and spoke, “Alright, ladies, that’s enough…”

But Rae was yelling. “Laugh it up, Kaydel. This is where your dreams die. You’ll end up in some mediocre suburban home with your hen-pecked husband and bland babies, while I...”

“While you what, Rae?” Kaydel spat. “Die alone huffing meth in your basement?”

“Enough!” Ben roared, slamming his hand down on his desk.

The entire class jumped, turning back around to stare at him. The bell rang before he could say another word and the classroom emptied out quickly, Rae moving faster than everyone else.

What was that about?

Ben waited until he was home before he acknowledged the events that had transpired in his classroom were a direct result of Kaydel flirting with him. Leia was right—Rae did like him.

He hesitated, then made up his mind to call his mother. It had been years since he’d reached out to her with a problem. 

“She can't be in love with me,” Ben said abruptly.

“Well, hello to you to,” Leia laughed. 

“And even if she is, what can I do about it?”

His mother sighed, and he heard a sound like shuffling papers. “You like her too, you know.”

“Well, yeah, but surely not like that?”

“Why not?”

“I’m ten years older than her!”

“That’s not so bad,” Leia said, and he heard the clink of glass. Was she pouring herself a drink? Something soft, he hoped. He didn’t want to drive his mother to alcoholism. “Your father was a good deal older than me.”

“Dad was dad,” Ben muttered.

“What does that mean?”

He thought of Han Solo for the first time in a long time and felt a sudden burst of guilt. “Dad was worldly and suave and a ladies man…”

“And human,” Leia interrupted him. “Ben, he was flawed like the rest of us.”

He fell silent for a moment. “What d’you think dad would tell me to do about Rae?”

Leia’s laughter rang down the line. “He’d say jump her bones as soon as possible.”

“And then he’d call me kid,” Ben grumbled, placing his mother on speaker. 

“Definitely.”

“Mom, why do you like Rae so much? It’s obvious you do, by the way.”

“Guilty,” Leia said happily. “She’s the anti-Phasma.”

Ben nearly dropped the knife he’d picked up to start prepping dinner. “What?”

He could practically hear his mother smirking on the other end.

“The anti-Phasma. I know you liked Gwen, but she was never going to make you happy. Reasonably content, perhaps, but happy? Nope.”

“Were you ever going to tell me that?” Ben demanded, outraged.

“Would you have listened?” Leia snapped. “You needed to find out on your own. I’m just glad it didn’t take a divorce for you to realise Gwen wasn’t the right one. Rae is sweet and smart. She challenges you and makes you laugh. And I don’t mean she’s perfect—no one’s perfect—but you’re the most alive I’ve seen when you’re around her.”

Ben said nothing, returning to his chopping board.

“Would you prefer it if I banned you from seeing her?”

“She’s a student,” he said morosely. “I know she’s eighteen, but there are clear ethical issues. It won’t be allowed by the school, and honestly, it shouldn’t be.”

“Well, you’ll just have to be careful, won’t you?”

“Mom, seriously,” Ben groaned, attacking an onion with greater vigour than it required. 

“You know I’ve always been a rebel. Besides, your father never allowed propriety to stop him from coming after me. He used to call us the princess and the peasant.”

“Thanks, mom. Real helpful.”

“Hey, you rang me.”

Ben ended the call after telling his mother he loved her, stomach churning as he considered what he was about to do next. This was not at all the sabbatical he was expecting.


	6. Don't Let Myself Down

It was the next day and Rae snuck quietly to her seat in the back of the class, avoiding the death glare Kaydel was giving her. The blonde and her friends had already accidentally-on-purpose body slammed Rae against the lockers that morning.

She couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been. Who antagonised the queen bee of their high school on the first day of the year? She did, that’s who.

Rose had been scandalised, worriedly trying to list what repercussions might follow from Rae’s deliberate rudeness. Her friend preferred to remain a wallflower, unnoticed and ignored. It was a miracle she’d ever hooked up with Finn.

It was just so hard watching slutbag Kaydel flirt up a storm with Dr Solo, the cheerleader’s long legs deliberately crossing and uncrossing under her desk as he stood teaching. And then when she’d started asking him insipid questions about his personal life… Rae had lost it.

Dr Solo was already writing an equation on the white board when she arrived. She’d hardly sat down when he turned.

“Miss Rae,” he called out.

Rae’s spine snapped straight. “Yes, sir?”

“I’m not happy about what happened in my classroom yesterday,” he said, and Rae tried not to combust on the spot.

“But Kaydel…”

“…Didn’t start the fight, did she?”

The blonde turned her head to smirk at Rae.

He was taking Kaydel’s side? Rae had never felt so betrayed in all her life. Sure, she’d been sarcastic, but Kaydel was downright savage.

The class was silent, watching breathlessly for what would happen next.

“I’m going to have to keep a closer eye on you,” he continued. Dr Solo turned to Baz whose desk was up the front next to Kaydel’s. “Miss Natal, you’ll exchange places with Miss Rae right now.”

Rae wasn’t the only one upset by his request.

“Dr Solo…”

“Come on!”

“Please, don’t…”

He thumped the board with a big hand and the protests from Kaydel and her minions died down. It took an uncomfortable five minutes for the switch to be made.

Rae gulped as she slipped into her new seat.

There was no doubt about it, Solo had made her his target. As class continued, she was called on multiple times to answer questions. Thank goodness she’d read ahead, still so desperate to impress the man. He barely acknowledged her right answers, though the one formula she fumbled drew a frown from him that made her heart sink down to her ankle socks.

And then he told her in his dark velvet voice that she’d be returning to the chemistry lab after final period to clean up the day’s mess. Rae had nodded, unable to meet his pretty amber eyes. Rose shot her a sympathetic look, but Rae suspected her careful best friend thought she deserved the punishment.

The one good outcome from it all was Kaydel left her alone, clearly deciding Rae had been humiliated enough by Dr Solo. It didn’t prevent the blonde cheerleader from sniggering loudly every time their teacher called on Rae, but at least she didn’t have to worry about being jumped outside of school.

She arrived back at the chemistry lab once the final bell rang, secretly pleased she’d been given time alone with Dr Solo once more, even if it was a punishment. She must be a secret masochist.

Rae walked into the room to find him wiping the boards clean, the sleeves of his blue dress shirt rolled up to reveal muscular forearms, his back achingly broad and appealing.

“Doc?” she said, announcing herself and wincing as soon as she did. That was her nickname for him when she’d still been welcome in his home, which she wasn’t anymore.

He didn’t reprimand her, though, tossing a heavy key ring at her instead. Naturally she dropped it, scrambling to pick it up from the dusty floor. When she straightened again, her cheeks were tomato red.

“The bronze key opens the supply closet. I want you to return any chemicals to their shelves. Keep it neat and tidy.”

“Right away, sir,” she said, cringing on the inside as soon as she spoke. Ugh, she sounded like an idiot.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him sit down at his desk and begin grading reports while she scurried across the room, collecting stoppered bottles of sulfuric acid and hydrogen sulphate. She dropped the odd dirty test tube or beaker that had been missed by the previous class in a sink, intending to clean them afterwards.

At last she was satisfied she’d gathered all the chemicals, nestling the bottles together on a metal trolley and wheeling it over to the supply closet. The inside of the closet was dark and musty, lit by a single bulb. It took her a while to find the shelf for the hydrogen sulphate, but she soon had those jars put away.

It took longer to locate the shelf for the sulfuric acid, and that was because it was situated above her head. She found a little grey stool and began organising the top shelf two bottles at a time. She was thoughtfully turning the bottles so they stood with their labels out when Dr Solo appeared in the doorway.

“Are you done?”

A sound came out of her mouth that could only be described as _“squee”_ and she overbalanced on the stool. Rae fell, limbs windmilling, but the arms that caught her pulled her away from the shelves of chemicals and into the safety of his chest instead.

She found herself clutching at his shirtfront as her feet found the ground beneath. It was just like the other night at his house that had ended so disastrously. She waited for Dr Solo to push her away and yell at her for being clumsy, but the heavily muscled arms around her slight form only tightened their grip until she was struggling to breathe.

Her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was pounding outside of her chest. She melted into his hold, the rainwater scent of him and the warmth of his skin. A minute passed and she wondered if she was dreaming.

Had the acid spilt and dissolved her brain?

At last, he peeled her off himself, his big hands on her narrow shoulders, smiling down into her face. He gently tucked a loose lock of dark red hair behind her ear and asked, “How’s your ankle?”

It took a moment for her to understand him, much less respond. “Um, f-fine… it’s fine,” she stammered. “It was only a sprain.”

“Oh, good,” he rumbled, bending over to drop a kiss on top of her head. “I’ve been lying in bed at night thinking of you. I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.”

Rae was incapable of responding to the vivid fantasy his statement painted in her mind: Ben Solo, naked except for a tangle of sheets, his body striped by moonlight and shadow. The junction of her thighs clenched down on nothing, her core as wet as the ocean.

What was happening?

“You should go now,” he said, ending the moment.

“Yes, sir,” she mumbled, her face as rosy as a sunset.

Rae had no idea how she managed to leave the classroom, her pulse racing and stomach knotted. It was a miracle she could even walk.

Things were even more awkward the next day.

Rae had struggled to sleep, unable to interpret her interaction with Dr Solo. He’d acted all upset with her during class, but then afterwards… it was almost as if he missed her. He’d asked about her ankle and everything.

No, she couldn’t delude herself again. Guys like him didn’t want girls like her.

That afternoon Dr Solo had lunch in the cafeteria with Ms Pava, the math teacher. Rae was unable to chew her spaghetti for the burning fury in her lungs as she watched Jessika Pava flip shoulder-length honey blonde hair while they chatted.

What was it with him and his harem of blondes? She would have bet good money the woman back in New Jersey was blonde too.

Dr Solo was hard on her in class, but no less tough on everyone else. Rae realised he was just that kind of teacher- demanding excellence even at this early stage in the semester.

Once school was over, she returned to the chemistry lab again. When she was done cleaning up, she wandered over to his desk. He made her wait while he finished marking a paper.

She watched his long fingers slash through Poe Dameron’s findings with a red ink pen. He wore a brown leather bracelet with a gold tag that had an imprint of two dice on it. The tag glinted while he wrote, and she grew curious. 

“Does that mean something?” 

He looked up at her, raising an eyebrow.

Blushing, she pointed at the bracelet, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut instead. He was her teacher, not her friend. 

“Ah, that. It’s my dad’s,” Dr Solo explained. “You asked about him the other night and it got me thinking.” Rae held her breath at this mention of their time together. She’d expected him to pretend the past two weeks had never happened. “My father won the bracelet in a poker game from a man named Lando Calrissian, who later became his best friend.”

“That’s your middle name,” she exclaimed with sudden understanding. Leia had announced it the afternoon she found Rae in her son’s arms.

He looked amused. “You remembered.”

She squirmed, unable to go any redder. Of course, she remembered. Rae could recite every piece of personal information about this man that had been let slip. It was burned into her brain.

“You all done in here?” he asked.

She nodded eagerly. “Yes, sir.”

He twirled the pen between his fingers with surprising dexterity. “You did a good job.”

She couldn’t have stopped the warm swell in her heart if she tried.

“Actions have consequences, Rae. You can’t shoot your mouth every time someone like Kaydel Connix annoys you.”

Rae bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the floor. “I-I know. I’m sorry.”

“I need to be able to trust you.”

What? Her eyes bounced back to his in surprise. 

“Can I trust you?”

What… what was he talking about? Rae could hardly breathe.

“Yes, of course, doc.” She deliberately used her nickname for him, and his lips quirked in a brief smile.

Oh.

“You don’t have to stay back tomorrow,” he said, returning to his papers.

“I don’t mind,” she blurted out quickly. Rae didn’t want to lose the precious time she had with him.

“No,” he said firmly, already ticking off the next report, “it’s not a good idea. We need to be delicate.”

Rae stared at Dr Solo, the inside of her mouth like cotton wool. Did he mean… what did he mean?

“Off you go, sweetheart,” he murmured, his eyes not leaving the pages on his desk.

Rae floated home, not daring to believe the man she adored might like her too.

Thursday was a quiet one.

Rae woke up almost deliriously happy. She wasn’t sure what she expected to happen, but her joy faded as the day went on and she saw little of Dr Solo.

To be fair, they were required to watch a documentary on ‘A Volatile History of Chemistry’ during his period which reduced interaction to a bare minimum, but she was frustrated realising she didn’t even have time with him after school. It wasn’t enough for her.

In the dying minutes of the film, he sent her to the back of the class to pack up the school laptop. It was dark in the room- she swore Poe was lightly snoring on his desk- so she didn’t notice Dr Solo join her.

Suddenly he was beside her, his hands on her hips as he moved her aside so he could unplug the computer. That brief touch was all it took to make her skin tingle for the rest of the day.

It was Friday afternoon and Dr Solo had now been her chemistry teacher for a whole week. Chemistry was final period, and when the bell rang there was a stampede out the door.

Rae nearly left too, but he grabbed her by the back of her blouse as she walked by, tugging the thin cotton out from where it was tucked into her skirt.

“May I speak to you, Miss Rae,” he said, his intonation making his words a command and not a request.

She hesitated, checking over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching, but they were alone. Dr Solo shut the room door and her limbs quivered as she put down her bag.

She was not prepared for this… for him. She suspected he would always be too much for her senses to handle.

Solo gave her an expectant look, motioning for her to come closer. She circled his desk and stopped before him, her hands nervously clutching her skirt. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes, she was so jumpy.

“Are you a good girl, Rae?” he asked, the timbre of his voice startlingly low.

That brought her chin up, hazel eyes wide as she met his dark amber gaze. “What… I mean, yes? Sir?”

He smiled, those plush lips twitching in a small signal of pleasure. “Do you promise to be good for me?”

“Always, sir,” she gasped, her pulse fluttering in her throat.

This was some kind of test, she decided.

“Do you want to come over for a study session, Miss Rae?”

She couldn’t breathe. She wanted so desperately to say yes.

But the other day he’d told her to leave his home, that it was a bad idea for them to be seen together. She was confused.

Wait… did he even mean _his_ house?

“At your place, sir?” she asked, and her poor voice sounded breathless, as if she’d run a marathon.

He noticed and smirked. “Yes.”

“I—I’d like that.”

His smiled broadened, lighting up his face. “Good. And Miss Rae?”

Dizzy and nervous, she hesitated. “Sir?”

“Don’t bring your books.”

Rae made a break for it.


	7. One With You

Ben was reasonably confident she’d show. Rae had been wide-eyed and trembling when she left the classroom. Still, he’d never done anything like that before.

The week had been a slow and deliberate seduction of the teenager in the most taboo of places, the very school that made it impossible for them to be together. What the hell was he thinking?

Except every evening without Rae left him wanting her more. After two weeks, was it possible to miss another human being that much? He didn’t even enjoy cooking anymore, and that was his go-to therapeutic time out. What was the point when she wasn’t there to inhale his food like a starved chipmunk?

He’d just arrived home and was hanging up his jacket when the front doorbell rang. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. That was quick.

Rae stood on his porch still in her school uniform, a strange look on her face. She pushed her way inside and he shut the door behind her.

“You’re early,” he murmured.

“I went home and dropped off my bag, but I didn’t want to wait.” She spoke with a brazenness she’d been lacking at school, though he could still see her uncertainty.

“Why not? Afraid you’d change your mind?”

“No. Never.” Her hazel eyes were bright and clear, more green than brown. “I started thinking about what you said.”

“Always a good idea.”

“I just want to know who the hell you think you are?”

Ben flinched in surprise.

“How dare you treat me like I’m some kind of disposable toy?” she hissed, fists clenched. “What gives you the right to keep changing your mind about us?”

He hadn’t expected her to be so forthright after her blushing and fumbling responses, and his mind went blank.

“The other day, you said hanging out was a bad idea. You asked me to leave. And then today… you want a study date?”

“To be clear, I’m not doing any studying,” he muttered.

“That’s not the point!” she snapped. “Do you know how you’ve made me feel this past week? Like the only guy I’ve ever liked doesn’t like me back, because why would he? I’m nothing but some garbage girl no one could ever love…”

“Rae!” Ben said, horrified. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“Why not?” she demanded. “It’s not like my dad stuck around, and he’s biologically mandated to care for me.” She impatiently wiped her eyes. “Ugh, I told myself I wouldn’t cry.”

He stepped forward, arms outstretched. “Rae, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Don’t touch me,” she said, cringing away from him.

Ben backed off immediately, feeling like a monster.

She must have seen the look on his face because her next statement came out softer. “I- I can’t think when you touch me, doc, and I need to get this out.”

He stuck his hands in his pockets and waited, feeling sick.

“If we’re doing this, really doing this, then you’re not allowed to change your mind again a month from now. If it doesn’t work out between us, I deserve the chance to still be a part of your life. You don’t get to banish me like… like Quasimodo.” Her words were clear, but tears fell like rain.

Ben huffed at this unexpected simile. “Still reading my Victor Hugo book?” he teased.

The look she gave him was wretched, and he quickly sobered up. He considered his reply, not wanting her to misunderstand anything he said. “Rae, what do you think we’re doing here?”

She clasped her hands before her. “Dating?”

He laughed at the unexpected innocence of her word. “I guess we are.” He ran a hand through his thick hair, messing it up completely. “I didn’t realise how much I liked you,” he said at last. Rae blinked at him, her full lower lip dropping slightly. “I thought I could be the adult- I am your teacher, after all- and make the smart decision for both of us. And that’s not fair, I see that now. You’re not a child.”

She snuffled, looking abashed. “Present circumstances excluded.”

He smiled gently. “No, you were right to yell at me. I thought I could handle seeing you in the classroom like any other student, but I was wrong about that too. I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel like you do, Rae. I’ve been losing my mind trying to forget you.”

She blushed, twisting in her school shoes. “Really?”

“Really. If you’re willing, I thought we could explore… us.”

She took a step towards him. “Yes, please.”

“And I promise any ongoing decisions about this relationship will be done by committee,” he added.

“A committee of just you and me?” Rae asked, frowning.

He nodded.

“Oh good, because I had a picture of your mom as chairperson.”

Ben groaned. “Don’t even joke about that.”

Rae gave him a watery smile. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yup, let’s do this.”

He let out a breath he’d been unconsciously holding. “Did you want dinner?”

She smiled, taking another step toward him. “As much as I’ve missed your cooking, doc, I want to do other stuff.”

Ben kept his distance. “What kind of stuff?”

“I want you to kiss me all over.”

And wouldn’t you know it, Ben Solo felt his sex twitch to life. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not yet, anyway.”

“Why not?” she pouted, fluttering her lashes at him.

He damn near groaned. “Rae, are you a virgin?”

She nodded. “But I’m ready, doc. I swear it.”

“Are you sure?”

She looked at him as if the question hurt. Instead of speaking, she reached under her skirt and tugged at pale green cotton panties, stepping out of them one leg at a time. Finally, she held them out to him. “Ready.”

Ben was rock hard in seconds. “Fuck,” he muttered, and she gave him a shy smile.

He took the flimsy garment and tucked it into his back pocket. The pink in her cheeks deepened.

He pulled Rae close, cupping her face in his hands and finding her soft lips. Ben kissed her like a starving man, as thorough as he was passionate. She was hot and sweet beneath his tongue, squirming against him like a girl possessed, and he could feel his own self-control starting to slip.

“I know,” he groaned, backing her up and pinning her against his front door. “I can feel it too, baby girl.”

“Doc…” she sighed, her aching desire encapsulated in that one word.

His hands were undoing the little buns on her head, allowing her hair to spill down her back. Still ravishing her lips, he unbuttoned her school blouse, groaning when he saw the lacey white bralette barely covering small breasts.

Rae bit her lip, embarrassed. “I’m not very big…”

“You’re perfect,” he murmured, pushing the worn fabric up and over her head, releasing perky mounds that had been tormenting him for weeks now. Her nipples were a delicate blush pink, already hard for him.

Ben grabbed her wrists in one hand and pinned them high against the door, so high Rae was standing on her tiptoes. He leaned down and nuzzled his nose against creamy mounds and pouting buds. 

He pressed kisses from circumference to centre, unable to help himself, sipping on her succulent nipples ever so briefly. Next he used the flat of his tongue to cover her chest so her tits were shiny with his saliva. By the time he was ready to draw her nipples into his mouth in a hungry suckle, Rae was twisting and whimpering with need.

“Please,” she begged, wanting more.

“You deserve to be kept waiting, baby,” he growled, one hand massaging each breast in turn, watching them disappear into his palm like he knew they would. “You used your little tits like bait, didn’t you? Flashing them in my face all the time.”

She gave a nervous giggle, and then squealed when he closed his mouth over her right nipple and nibbled. He used his tongue to soothe the sting before moving over to her other stiff nub. Ben took an inordinate amount of time playing with her breasts, admiring the way she looked pinned against his front door, naked under her school skirt, her socks falling down over scuffed black shoes.

If he kept it up he would explode in his pants, so he sucked a bruise into the top round of her right breast as a reluctant goodbye. “We should take this to another room,” he mumbled, dimly aware they were still standing in his entranceway.

“No,” Rae whimpered. “Here. Now.” 

She reached out and began fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, sliding a hand inside to stroke the muscles of his chest, a look of dopey pleasure making her face soften. He helped her out, stripping off the shirt, removing his shoes and socks and belt, hesitating before he took off his pants.

His steel hard erection tented the front of his navy shorts, and he watched her already wide eyes grow even bigger. She took his breath away when she reached out for him, rubbing his hard cock over stretchy cotton.

“You’re so big,” she whispered, and it gave him an idea.

Ben sank to his knees before her, once more pushing Rae against the front door.

“Wh-what are you doing?” she asked nervously.

He smiled up at her, broad hands already sliding under her little school skirt to cup her bare ass. “I need to get you ready,” he said, diving in to press his open mouth to her damp mound.

Rae squeaked like a mouse as Ben found the tiny thatch of red curl atop her most slit, sliding his tongue deep inside her aching core. He licked and suckled, coaxing more honey from her centre, making her squirm like a worm on a hook. She had one hand on the door knob and the other buried in his hair as he skilfully ate her out.

Rae whimpered when Ben’s slippery tongue spread the tight petals of her sex, she moaned when he began thrusting the wet organ in and out of her untried channel, and she shattered into a million pieces when he found the hard little spiral of her clitoris nestled amongst damp folds and sucked. She came twice before she became too sensitive, pushing away his still hungry mouth.

Ben emerged from under her skirt with a look of immense satisfaction. “We’re gonna do that again someday soon,” he muttered.

She wriggled out of her skirt to his disappointment, though her ankle socks and black Mary Janes stayed on. He stood, slipping one finger and then two between her legs, teasing her tight muscles, concerned he wouldn’t fit.

“Rae, you’re so small,” he groaned.

She was trembling she was so aroused, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. “Please, Ben, now?” she begged.

And her sweet voice speaking his name for the first time ruined him. 

He pulled off his shorts and fitted the bulging head of his cock to her soaking wet pussy. Without preamble, he began to slide inside of her, one slow inch at a time. Rae shuddered as she was split in two, his thick shaft spreading her pink sheathe, taut muscles giving way in a burning stretch that both hurt and tantalised. The thin barrier of her virginity was nothing against the battering ram that was his cock. 

When at last he was all the way inside her, he paused. They were both breathless and shaky, tiny whimpers escaping her lips. Ben kissed her hard and Rae reciprocated greedily. They were joined now, in a way neither one of them had seen coming.

“Baby, you okay?” he breathed.

She nodded, but her expression was uncertain. 

He grunted as he picked her up, wrapping her thighs around his hips, pushing her against his front door. He would have to dip the damn thing in gold and preserve it behind glass once this was all over.

“I’m gonna move now, okay?” he mumbled.

Ben started slow, easing out of her clutching pussy and sliding back in again at an agonisingly slow pace. Rae moaned as his thick shaft dragged against the swollen nub of her clit, bathing him in a fresh spurt of slick. Again he eased out and pumped back in, her hips twitching in response, chasing his erection.

He smirked to see her response, dropping a kiss on her cheek. “Such a greedy little girl,” he teased, and her aching cunt clamped down on his sex, desperate for more. He picked up his speed, telling her what a good girl she was, how much he loved her tiny pussy, how he’d fuck her every night for the rest of her life because she was such an angel.

Rae came with a soft scream, her face buried in the crook of his neck, her eyes glazed over. But Ben wasn’t done, not by a long shot. He was so hard, thickly swollen, loving the glide of her like a silken scarf tightening around his sex with every thrust. He pounded her against his door for a long time, and when she climaxed again he came with her, filling her with hot bursts of seed. 

At last, he sank to the floor, taking her with him. Ben cradled Rae, their bodies still locked together, juices slipping down their thighs. It was the best sex of his life.

Rae didn’t want to move afterwards. If she was being honest, she’d been a little fearful about surrendering her body to Ben. Not because she didn’t think he’d be good. In fact, being with him was spectacular, which was not the review Rose had given Finn after their first time. She was nervous because she’d be giving away a part of herself she could never take back. 

And suddenly Rae felt like she was suffocating, unable to bear the emotions thundering in her chest. Because now Ben truly had all the power to leave her bereft. 

“Doc…” she whispered, wanting comfort though he couldn’t know what she was thinking.

Except he replied, “I know, baby girl. I’m here. You’re not alone.”

His words echoed in the chambers of her heart. “Neither are you.”

He pressed a kiss on her shoulder as they lay still on his floor, stretching the moment out just a little longer, enjoying the tender quiet in the middle of a dusty, corn-fed town.

Ben rested his jaw in the hollow at the base of her neck. “I’d like to use the bed next time,” he murmured against her flesh.

Rae giggled.

At last, he picked her up like a child, her legs hooked around his waist, and carried her upstairs to his room.

He was already good to go, as hot and hard as forged steel, nervous whether it would be too soon for her, but she was wriggling eagerly against him, a radiant smile on her lips. This time, when she came, she cried out his name.

They both knew this was the beginning of something special.


	8. My Desire's Release

Rae became his life.

Being with Gwen was not the same, not so intense nor so consuming. Being with Rae was the definition of everything that was right in Ben’s world.

She was in his house all the time, reading her textbooks, working on homework and consuming his food. She opened her body to him with ever increasing delight, her libido more than a match for his. He found himself invading her nightly, his mouth on hers, his cock buried inside her snug little pussy. She was always wet and needy for him, and he was constantly hard around her.

A month went by before Ben’s conscience began to nag at him.

“I should speak to your mother.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re here all the time, Rae. Isn’t she worried?”

“Doc, no. It’s not… it’s not necessary.”

She’d been doing her French reading, but now her pencil fell from her hand, rolling across the carpet.

He noticed the hitch in her voice but didn’t think anything of it. “I have to insist, baby girl.”

Which was when she burst into tears.

Ben stared at her in shock. She was always so strong, his little Rae, determined to be the perfect girlfriend.

He picked her up from the couch, wrapping his arms around her and settling her on his lap. “Rae, what is it?”

She snuffled into his neck, shaking her head. “I don’t—I don’t want to tell you.”

He cleared his throat, suddenly tense. “Why?”

Rae wiped her face though tears still slipped down her cheeks. “Because. Then you’ll know.”

He felt his spine stiffen. He couldn’t help it. “Know what?” he prompted, his voice a low rumble he’d once used to make her orgasm.

Her narrow shoulders were hunched, her eyes fixed on her fingers, twisted together like pretzels. “I’m alone.”

He frowned. “Okay.” This was not new information. He knew Rae had been taking care of herself and her mother with a series of odd jobs and handouts.

She peered up at him through tangled lashes. “No, you don’t get it. I’m completely alone. My mother isn’t a shut-in, Ben. She… she left Jakku a year ago.”

 _“What?”_ His emotions surged like a storm cloud.

She cringed at what she saw on his face and he tried to tone it down, rubbing circles on her back, soothing her as if she were a wild bird ready to take flight.

“What happened, sweetheart?”

Her words came out in fits and starts. “After dad left, mom lost the will to live. I was so afraid she might… do something drastic. And she did, just not what I thought. I woke up one morning and she was gone. Her jewellery was missing, her bank account empty.”

“Rae…”

Little hands turned into fists in her lap. “No one knows. I didn’t want to be placed into foster care, so I pretended she was still at home with me.”

Ben groaned. She was breaking his heart. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She stared at him, hazel eyes still glossy with tears.

“I mean, once you knew you could trust me,” he added, his chest hurting to think of the nights he’d sent her back to an empty house, believing there was an adult in there with her. She’d never mentioned her mother, not once, and he’d assumed it was out of pride.

She was crying again. “When I look at you…” she choked, “all I see is everything I don’t deserve.”

“Rae…”

“Every night, I catalogue all the reasons why you’re too good for me, and I wait for the day when you’ll see me for who I really am. I’m broken, Ben. I don’t even know if I deserve you, but I want to believe I could. Some day.” 

He drew her against the warmth of his chest. She was shivering, as cold as ice, certain he didn’t want her anymore.

“Rae…”

She whimpered. “I’ll go.”

“Don’t you bloody dare,” he growled.

She froze in his embrace and he buried his face in her hair. It was loose and rippling down her back, smelling of sunshine. He had to get a hold of himself, otherwise he’d lose his temper and she’d misunderstand. 

His rage was not against her, but rather for those two cretins who dared call themselves her parents.

Finally, he spoke. “You’re moving in.”

She quivered in his arms.

“We’ll do it little by little so no one notices, but I want you to bring your clothes over and whatever else you need.”

“Doc?”

“You’ll still have to hang out in your house so no one finds out, but I want you to spend your nights with me. It won’t be that big a change, you’re mostly at my place anyway.”

“Oh, Ben.”

“I only use about half my closet. We’ll go shopping for toiletries you like so you don’t have to use my stuff…”

“I love your stuff,” she mumbled into his bicep, leaking tears still, warmth returning to her extremities. And then she said, “I love you.”

He peeled her off his chest so he could look into swollen eyes. She gave him a tremulous smile. 

“Too much too soon? Sorry, doc. I always ruin things. Are you sure you want me to stay?”

“I love you too, Rae.”

And then he was kissing her and she was clawing at his shirt, desperate to have him naked around her. 

They made love on the carpet, her cries plaintive and his hips setting a punishing rhythm. She was wet and snug, and he was thick and hard. She climaxed and came apart, clinging to him tight, refusing to let go. 

When Rae finally relinquished her hold around his neck, she was fast asleep. Ben held her close, unable to comprehend how someone so precious could be so neglected.

He vowed to be everything she needed from now on. And even when he failed, he would still be by her side. 

Rae was alone with Leia and she felt nervous.

Ben’s mother had dropped by for an unscheduled visit, just like the last time, only eight months later. She already knew that Rae and Ben were living together, her face curious as she scanned the house. 

The décor was still fairly plain. They both worked hard to hide their relationship, though Rose and Finn continually accused her of having a crush on Dr Solo. Things had become momentarily awkward when they tried to set her up with Poe. 

Poor Poe. She’d run so fast from the unexpected double date that Rae knew she’d dented his ego. He’d get over it. 

Leia had wanted to cook but this time Ben insisted on doing the honours. He’d made a delicious pot roast with a medley of vegetables. Dinner conversation felt a little stilted, and Rae suspected Leia had something on her mind.

As soon as Ben left the dining room with the dirty dishes, Rae discovered she was right.

It was uncanny being watched by Ben’s big, dark eyes except in a face of classical female beauty. “I wasn’t sure what this would be,” the older woman said casually. 

Rae blinked.

“You and Ben,” Leia clarified. “I didn’t know if you’d be a one night stand or something more.”

Rae flushed, knowing not to take offense. Leia said what she thought with no filter. In his own way, Ben was like her. His love for her softened the hard edges of blunt words.

“I’ve never seen him so happy,” Leia smiled. “He’s a brilliant man, you know,” Rae nodded quickly, “but a difficult one. He’s moody and demanding, all consuming. Being his mother can be a challenge. I can only imagine what it must be like for you. Are you happy with him, Rae?”

Rae stared at Leia, unable to comprehend the question. “Ben is many things,” she agreed, “but to me, he is perfect.” 

Leia sighed. “You’re so young, my dear.”

“I’m still going to college, and I intend to have a career in engineering. Being with Ben doesn’t limit me. He’s helped me believe in myself,” Rae said earnestly. 

Leia nodded slowly, reaching out to take Rae’s hand. “Well, then, welcome to the Skywalker-Solo clan. We’re crazy, but it’ll be one hell of a ride.”

Ben walked back in at that moment, glasses of chocolate mousse in hand. He frowned at his mother’s grip on Rae’s thin fingers. “Should I be worried?” he asked.

Both women laughed.


	9. Epilogue- Rock Your Soul

_One year later_

“It’s small…”

“I love it!”

“We don’t have a back yard…”

“We have a park!”

“The kitchen won’t fit two people.”

“You never let me cook anyway.” 

Ben huffed, shaking his head at Rae. “I just want you to be aware…”

She jumped into his arms and he caught her, cradling her lithe body against his broad chest. “We’re in Jersey!” she crowed. 

Rae had graduated high school with a perfect GPA and an astronomical SAT score. She was in the top one percent of students across the country and had chosen Princeton as the place to do her undergraduate degree. 

Ben knew she’d also chosen to be close to him, but hell, he could always quit his job and move if she decided she wanted to do her Masters program at MIT.

After a year in Jakku, living in the rambling old house, his apartment felt smaller than ever, though Rae didn’t seem to notice. She gave him a sloppy kiss and bounced along the narrow hallway. 

“I feel gross after unloading the boxes. I’m gonna grab a shower and then maybe we can try that pizza place you told me about for dinner?”

He grinned. “Sure, baby.” The staff at Big Leo’s would have a heart attack watching her inhale their pies.

He looked at the cluster of boxes that had come home with them from Missouri and winced just thinking about his stuff in storage which would arrive tomorrow. Lots of unpacking to do before semester started.

His front doorbell rang and he frowned, wondering if it was the movers with something they’d missed.

“Everything okay…?” His voice trailed off in surprise.

In the dimly lit corridor was Gwen Phasma, her golden hair swept back in a sleek wave, her lean body clad all in black. He couldn’t help himself, immediately drawing a comparison. Rae never could keep her red hair in check and she favoured lots of colour in her clothes. 

“Hi,” he said when Gwen just stared at him. 

“Hey,” she replied, slow to speak even though it was she who’d shown up unannounced.

“Nice hair, Solo,” another voice snorted from behind her. Hux. 

Were they really still together? Amazing.

“I like it,” Gwen murmured almost dreamily, making Hux scowl. She reached out to touch the black waves, secured with a rubber band at the moment, but he avoided her hand with a side step, making her flush.

“What’s up?” Ben asked, opening his door a little wider, but not actually letting them in.

“Holdo said you’d arrived. I wanted to break the ice, so it’s not too weird when we see each other in the lab.”

He shrugged. “It’s fine, Gwen. We’re good.”

She stared at him, blue eyes searching. “Yeah?”

He smiled, unable to help himself. Seeing her made him realise just how much he’d changed. “Definitely.”

“So, your time away was a success?”

Beside her, Hux cleared his throat. 

Gwen shot him an irritable look. “Oh, alright. We should get going, Hux and I have tickets to see…”

“Doc, you have to help!” Rey came hustling down the hallway, her red hair dripping water down her back and her shiny wet body barely covered in a dishtowel. The hand that clutched said towel around her firm little breasts sparkled with the light of a diamond and ruby engagement ring.

She never took the damn thing off.

Ben realised Hux was on his toes trying to get a better look at a half naked Rae and he firmly shut the door in his and Gwen’s faces. 

Ben Solo did not share.

Rae hadn’t noticed, still in a panic. “There’s a giant roach in the corner of the shower stall.”

He grinned. “A cockroach, Rae? There are grasshoppers the size of my fist in Jakku. And toads I could throw like bowling balls.”

“But this is a roach,” she said, her delicate face screwed up in disgust. “It flew!”

Ben burst out laughing, warmth he’d not quite become accustomed to spreading through his chest.

Joy.

He peeled off his t-shirt and jeans, scooping Rae into his arms. “I think I might have to join you,” he murmured, marching determinedly back to the bathroom. “I don’t want some slimy insect kidnapping my fiancée.”

Rae squealed, and kept squealing long after they’d entered the steamy shower stall and he’d killed the bug, her soapy body grinding against his in a rhythm that was by now familiar, though the pleasure of it was still a shock.

Gwen’s question floated back to him after his second orgasm. Was his sabbatical in Jakku a success? 

With Rae as his neighbour, student and girlfriend, determinedly breaking down all his walls and fences, it couldn’t have been anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for joining me on this ride. I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Please be gentle!


End file.
